I had the best day that I’ve ever had with my stepdaughter in the 12 years I’ve been in her life 🌟
I had some familiar, hot feelings that were super deep this morning. I felt them out. I processed them. I had a wonderful conversation with my dearest sister friend that totally set me up for the release ✨💗✨
First, I visited Madeline in her room. I got her water and opened up the curtains a little and talked to her like a plant 🌱 She died laughing 1.
Then I invited her to come talk about her feelings with us (totally straight faced) – that we were watching Inside Out and learning about our feelings 🎭 Again, she died laughing 2.
After the movie, I spent my entire afternoon struggling through a craft project for Madeline’s mom’s birthday today. Things weren’t working, but we were laughing and joking and so present with each other ✨
My favorite part was when she was sarcastically melting down and I looked at her, dead, straight in the eyes and said, “You do realize I’m doing this for my husbands ex-wife, right?”
She died laughing 3. “Mic drop, that was amazing,” she said.
We laughed. “I kid, I kid. I’m doing this for you, M.”
How do you find acceptance? You feel the feels and create the magic. You remain honest. You do exactly what my Nahko Bear has always told me to do…
“Don’t waste your hate
Rather gather and create
Be of service, be a sensible person
Use your words and don’t be nervous
You can do this, you’ve got purpose
Find your medicine and use it”
And that’s what I did ✨I helped Madeline create gifts for a woman who I let control my life for 12 years 🎉🎁🖤
On her 40th birthday, I wish Amy love. I hope she goes to sleep feeling loved and that she wakes up happy to face another day. I hope she savors this sweet/bitter/magical world we live in. That she finds the strength to deal with her karma and continues to search for her center.
These are things I hope for all of us 💖
I just can’t hate anymore. It’s too consuming.