:: Our Best Day ::

I had the best day that I’ve ever had with my stepdaughter in the 12 years I’ve been in her life 🌟

I had some familiar, hot feelings that were super deep this morning. I felt them out. I processed them. I had a wonderful conversation with my dearest sister friend that totally set me up for the release ✨💗✨

First, I visited Madeline in her room. I got her water and opened up the curtains a little and talked to her like a plant 🌱 She died laughing 1.

Then I invited her to come talk about her feelings with us (totally straight faced) – that we were watching Inside Out and learning about our feelings 🎭 Again, she died laughing 2.

After the movie, I spent my entire afternoon struggling through a craft project for Madeline’s mom’s birthday today. Things weren’t working, but we were laughing and joking and so present with each other ✨

My favorite part was when she was sarcastically melting down and I looked at her, dead, straight in the eyes and said, “You do realize I’m doing this for my husbands ex-wife, right?”

She died laughing 3. “Mic drop, that was amazing,” she said.

We laughed. “I kid, I kid. I’m doing this for you, M.”

How do you find acceptance? You feel the feels and create the magic. You remain honest. You do exactly what my Nahko Bear has always told me to do…

“Don’t waste your hate

Rather gather and create

Be of service, be a sensible person

Use your words and don’t be nervous

You can do this, you’ve got purpose

Find your medicine and use it”

And that’s what I did ✨I helped Madeline create gifts for a woman who I let control my life for 12 years 🎉🎁🖤

On her 40th birthday, I wish Amy love. I hope she goes to sleep feeling loved and that she wakes up happy to face another day. I hope she savors this sweet/bitter/magical world we live in. That she finds the strength to deal with her karma and continues to search for her center.

These are things I hope for all of us 💖

I just can’t hate anymore. It’s too consuming.

😊🚪💫

:: Rach vs Her Higher Self ::

I was just thinking to myself yesterday about how I feel pretty comfortable going to the gym by myself now. No Ashley my super gym buddy and without any other physical gym angel or shepherd being specifically assigned to me. It has taken over 30 classes and about a month and a half to finally be able to say that.

I scheduled a Sunday class with Katie and sat on the waitlist until yesterday afternoon when I got the email that a spot opened up for me. I texted Ashley and told her I’m not sure if my body is ready for it and she let me know she’s deep on the waitlist. Then I realized I was going alone to a new class. Different people. It would be a surprise 😳 I sat with the fact that I’d know Katie and that’s all that mattered.

I was super nervous before Katie’s 9 am class today.

I wore my favorite leggings but I was pretty uncomfortable. They fit weird. My fat suit is uncomfortable in certain clothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

I couldn’t figure out what I needed to listen to, so my feelings weren’t in their boxes or even sorted through. I walked into the gym with a messy mind.

But Katie was there in her calm light 🌟😌🌟

I told her I was nervous. It’s daylight in Hartland – not the buttcrack of dawn when I normally go. My #gymsquad wasn’t there. She smiled and reminded me of something she heard – that I’m not here to be comfortable and she reassured me that no one will hurt me, lol. I reminded myself that I’m never freaking alone wherever I go. I learned that lesson moons ago 💖

So yeah, it was Rach vs her higher self this morning. True church. Facing your best you on a Sunday morning is a beautiful experience ✨✨✨

My fiercest, yet kindest competitor is my higher self – she’s pure strength, pure love, pure light. She’s the contrast to every demon anyone can face. I’ve challenged her too many times just to be taught another lesson. I continue to challenge her daily. And she’ll always win. When she wins, I grow mentally, physically and spiritually stronger as long as I’m listening 🌟💥💪🏼🧡

So, my girl Katie guides me on my form, challenges me with the movements and supports me with kind, fierce energy. I wouldn’t be in that class without her today. I’m so grateful she draws me in.

Higher Rach supports my thoughts. I really have to quiet my mind to hear her. She’s so freaking loving and empowering 🥰 She pushed me through sliding mountain climbers that required strategic breaks to rest and quickly reenergize. She tells me when to drink and when to close my eyes to reset. Higher Rach paints a picture of a better life and shows me its totally attainable. I just have to listen to her.

Always. Listen. To. Your. Higher. Self.

While smiling through it all 😊🚪💫

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